DEVOTION

The fact that the best part of my day is about to be changed drastically is a crazy thing to think about. What is the best part? My time spent with Michael. We have been very intentional with our evenings, weekends, and one on one time together recently. Soaking up every moment of our bond and love for one another before we welcome a new kind of love into our world.

We have been very fortunate to do some fun traveling over the past couple of weeks. Michael's parents took us and his siblings to New York City over Thanksgiving where we got to experience the Macy's Day Parade. It was definitely a bucket-list item! I swelled on the plane, waddled through Central Park, ate way too many sweets and treats, didn't go into labor (thank goodness!!!), and so enjoyed the time we spent doing whatever we wanted to do when we wanted to do it. I know that life will be so different once Will is here. Leaving the house will be a process and not worth it at times, so exploring and flying by the seat of our pants in NYC was a heck of a way to go out with a bang!

Then a week after we got back, Michael and I took a "babymoon", just the two of us, to Big Cedar Lodge just outside of Branson, Missouri. Spending time there unplugged, relaxing, and reminiscing on what an adventure we are on made me fall more in love with the man I married. Those are moments we can think back on when the days are hard and long in the future.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4:8

Since I am now visiting the doctor weekly, I’ve had several appointments since the last time I wrote. As of Wednesday Willie is 3.7 pounds!! Keep growing my little man.

We met with the urologist to discuss his dialated kidneys. For now, they are unable to identify what is causing them to be dialated. There are four types of conditions that he could have, and we will not know which it is or what kind of treatment will be needed until he is born and they can run more tests. Fortunately, the amount of fluid has become stagnant and not increasing at this time. We are praying and hopeful that the levels remain the same and no longer fluctuate. If that is the case, it could be something he could live with daily without any surgery or treatment plan. If surgery is necessary, it is not something that needs to take place immediately. We are very pleased with that news!

We have also revisited the pediatric cardiologist. We are happy to say that no new issues have surfaced at this time. The first open heart surgery Will needs will take place around a week after he is born to widen his aortic arch. The second surgery will take place six to eight months down the road to mend the holes in his heart (ASD & VSD).

One of my biggest fears in thinking about delivering Will is that they would whisk him away without me having a chance to hold him and look him in the eyes. I’ve had nightmares of doctors needing to get him to the operating room right after taking his first breath of fresh air without his mommy getting to kiss his forehead. My doctors cannot predict the future and I know that, but as of right now, they have reassured me that there is nothing they know of that will cause me to not get those first moments with him. I want what is best for my baby. If that is getting him hooked up to tubes and monitors immediately, then that is what I want. It is my prayer though that they will lay him on my chest where I can hold his cute little fingers, inspect all his baby fat rolls, kiss his button nose, and praise Jesus for blessing Michael and I with the most perfect boy in the world.

As I'm nearing 33 weeks, things are becoming more and more real. I see my finish line in sight, which is really our start line. A few nights ago Michael and I had a "hang-up pizza party" as I nicknamed it. We spent the whole evening hanging up the pictures and art I have collected for Willie's nursery. With Michael's perfectionism and with his level out, this takes a whole evening! So pizza was necessary. It was a fun night seeing Will's room really come together. I have a baby shower the next two weekends, and then I promise to post some pictures of how his room turned out. There are still a few final touches that are coming together, but his room has easily become my favorite space in our house.

Below are some pictures Michael and I took by his cousin who is a photographer (Sarah Jean Photography). I am obsessed with them not only because Willie is the focus in all of the photos, but because the way Michael looks in them. He is going to be the most wonderful dad. The way he is smiling at my belly, how he doesn't miss any of my many doctors appointments, how he stays up with me in the middle of the night when I can't sleep, seriously makes me love him more and more each day. I know he would do anything for me and now Will. I daydream about what Willie will look like, but I daydream about Michael as a dad just as much. The first time Michael will hold him, the two of them watching OU football together, walks around the neighborhood, family trips in the RV or weekends at the Nascar race, I can't wait for their special bond to play out in front of my eyes.

I believe when you marry someone you devote your life to them. Through the trials and triumphs, you stick together. I also believe that bringing a new life into the world is a devotion. Children can easily complicate a relationship when devotion is already lacking. Even in the marriages where two stand on a solid foundation, kids can cause cracks. I am in no way an expert in the field. Willie is not here yet and I know there are hard seasons in Michael and I's marriage ahead because no marriage is sunshine and rainbows all of the time. What I am so thankful for is that Willie's life and the drastic changes it has caused and will continue to cause in Michael and I's marriage have all been a triumph. Not a trial. I truly believe Willie has brought us even closer when we could have lost some of our strong devotion. In so many ways I am appreciative to God for the blessing of Will because without him I don't know if Michael and I would have ever felt this kind of devotion, love, and completeness in our marriage and to one another.

Below are song lyrics that I blast in the car almost daily. They ring so true for my feelings towards Michael and how he is the sweetest devotion in my life. Willie, I hope you are ready to be loved by an incredible man, Christian, husband, son, brother, friend, and daddy.

"Sweetest Devotion" by Adele

With your loving There ain't nothing That I can't adore The way I'm running with you honey Means we can break every law I find it funny that you're the only One I never looked for There is something in your loving That tears down my walls I wasn't ready then I'm ready now I'm heading straight for you You will only be eternally The one that I belong to The sweetest devotion Hit me like an explosion All of my life I've been frozen The sweetest devotion I know I'll forever be whatever You want me to be I'd go under and all over For your clarity When you wonder If I'm gonna lose my way home just remember That come whatever I'll be yours all along I wasn't ready then I'm ready now I'm heading straight for you You will only be eternally The one that I belong to The sweetest devotion Hit me like an explosion All of my life I've been frozen The sweetest devotion I know I've been looking for you baby In every face that I've ever known And there is something about the way you love me That finally feels like home You're my light you're my darkness You're the right kind of madness You're my hope you're my despair You're my scope of everything everywhere The sweetest devotion Hit me like an explosion All of my life I've been frozen The sweetest devotion I know

DISCLAIMER: Michael will probably be embarrassed I wrote all of this about him. Oh well!